We Indians are the world’s noisiest (and nosiest people). Let me get done with the nosy part first. We have a twisted and perverse interest in the affairs of other people. I will concede that folks world wide have an ear for gossip which explains the whole paparazzi and the tabloid business. However, the point where things get so annoying is that people here make concerted efforts to get private information out – directly or indirectly. Everyone right from the security guard, the maid, colleagues, neighbours take a keen interest in every stupid little thing. Where did you go ? How come you are late today ? Who is that friend of yours ? All right, What the fuck ? Yes, you may have these thoughts inside your sick mind, but why ask directly ? What is your fucking business asshole ? Anyway, I have now resigned myself to this and now answer in monosyllables rather than asking the offenders to fuck off.
OK, now to the noisy part. This is probably the most exasperating, frustrating part of daily life in India. There’s noise everywhere – every fucking where. It’s unimaginable.  Loud music/TV, traffic honking, shouting while talking, construction noise and not to mention dogs.  The worst criminals are these “organizers” of local celebrations of all kinds of religious festivals. Of course complaining against loud noise will only hurt religious sentiments. What a load of bullshit. Is that how you celebrate a religious festival ? It is an occasion to sincerely thank the almighty for his blessings and for quiet reflection and prayer. Can there be even an ounce of devotion that is possible with loud blaring music from cheap speakers ? The situation is of course compounded when there are competing local celebrations each attempting to outdo each other in the “who can play the loudest music” game. Do not these morons realize that there can be infants, old people, sick patients who can be severely affected by noise ?
The next bunch of assholes are those who play the fucking TV and radio loudly. What the fuck is their problem ? Behenchod! There is some thing called headphones for fuck’s sake. What’s really incredible is complaints are met with blank faces – oh my god, how can that even disturb you ? In general, Indians tend to have a high noise tolerance. I am frequently surprised to find people not upset by high levels of noise.
It is impossible to find peace, quite and solitude in this country. At home, you are besieged by neighbours and other assholes. At work by co-worker retards who are compelled to loudly discuss everything. While commuting, traffic noise. You cant think straight! You go to a resort in the wilderness and some bastard is chopping wood or playing something obscene on his cellphone.
So, what’s the solution ? Unfortunately none that works. Legislation exists but is rarely enforced and you might get into trouble for complaining. I have tried noise isolating earphones with limited success. At home, you can try fitting noise insulating windows and maybe at work you can ask your colleagues to shut the fuck up.
If all else fails, pray. (Quietly of course).
